I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!

Excuse me. Is "stick 'em up" hyphenated?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police officer.

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

Bad cop! No donut!

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

Didn't I see you get your *** kicked on "Cops?"

**** ! you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's
nightstand.

Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at
McDonald's?

I pay your salary!

So, uh, you on the take, or what?

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning,
too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car
around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

What do you mean, have I been "drinking?" You're the trained
specialist.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off
my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to
speed out of control.

Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

Gee, if I gave $3000 to your Uncle, can he get me on the Police Force too ?

How come you're not over in Iraq with the rest of your Unit ? Old Knee Injury Huh ?

How many African Americans & Other Minorities are on your Department Bubba ?

Wassa Matta ? Could'nt find any Elderly Black People to beat up ?

Oh, I guess they're not hiring down at the Post Office anymore !

YO G !!!! Relax, I work for Chico and the White Snow Crew !!! They told me to tell you to keep providing the inside info on the Narc Squad and you've got another 5k coming !

I'm sorry but my Mommy & Daddy taught me not to talk to strangers !

I guess Megan's Law is crimping your Sex Life !

Hey are'nt you the dude thats stalking Eva Longoria through the mail ?